I’ve been able to spend a lot of time with my girlfriends lately and it’s invigorating to notice how different I feel when I am done. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I go through dry spells where I don’t see any of them for a while. It’s not until after I do that I realize how much I was missing out on. Having a girlfriend to commiserate with, to bounce ideas off of, to ask for help; it fulfills a part of our human need to feel connected. Girlfriends can be a bright, electric charge to what otherwise was a dreary day.
I have a community of friends who offer different perspectives from each other and fulfill a variety of needs for me. My favorite friends are the ones:
- Who will dance their asses off with me, regardless of how much younger the crowds are getting.
- Who I don’t see often enough, but when we do, we can chat and confide like no time has passed.
- Who know me, truly know me, and still love me unconditionally.
- Who I really only keep in touch with via social media, but who I know would still support me if I needed them.
- Who confide in me. Their trust is priceless.
- Who make me feel loved for just being me.
- Who bring dinner in any crisis, no matter how chaotic their own life is.
- Who will sip cocktails and gossip with me because sometimes it just feels good!
- Who I can be so real with that my house doesn’t have to be clean to hang out. We can drink an expensive bottle of wine in our PJ’s and be totally ok with that.
- Who have known me forever. There is a feeling of safety and comfort having known somebody for 20+ years.
- Who support me pursuing my love of writing by reading this. 🙂
- Who put in as much effort to keep our friendship strong, as I do.
What about those other “friends?” The ones who don’t return calls unless they need something from you, the ones who make every conversation about themselves, the one-uppers who can’t just let you bask in the limelight for once, the ones who abandon you when you hit a bump in the road, the ones who judge you, who make you feel inferior, the ones who won’t confide in you…what keeps us draining our energy with folks like these? I suppose it could be a myriad of things. Sometimes these friends are part of a larger group, sometimes they are co-workers or family that can’t easily be avoided. I wish I could say that I don’t know any of these types, but I do. I’m sure we all do. Cutting ties with toxic friends is a whole separate blog post. Just remember that your time is a precious resource; spend it wisely.
Back to those wonderful women who positively affect you, don’t let them slip away. Friendships take effort but are so, completely worth it. Our need for support from true friends is immense. It’s empowering, refreshing, and keeps us grounded. What fun is this wild ride without inside jokes, someone to tell you your mom jeans aren’t working for you, or a pal to check in when you are in need? Make a date with your BFF and see for yourself how good it feels!
What needs do you fulfill for your friends? What could you do to strengthen those friendships?